What Happened to Posh Parties?

They’re in the movies, they’re in your books, they’re in your fondest daydreams: posh parties. I’m talking diamonds, those fancy dresses you can’t wear anywhere else except at a wedding, and that’s only if you happen to know people who can afford a posh wedding, which I do not. All the weddings I have been to, including my own, were semi-formal attire at best and usually in the gymnasium of the Church. Yeah, those basketball lines on the floor? That’s the chic decor given to the best night of our lives by a cruel twist of fate–because we’re poor.

Which brings me back to posh parties. Where have they gone? Is it because our culture is caught up in technology and phones and TV that we just can’t spare the social energy to get out of the house? Or is it because we work longer hours than those nobleman of old and farmers?

Actually, if you stop and think about it, the reason we have yet to go to a ball or other posh party would probably be the same reason we wouldn’t be found in a ball a few hundred years ago either.

It’s because we’re poor.

Which is extremely anti-climatic…and very hard to believe, because I’m the girl who got all her high school formal dance dresses from a thrift store, the most expensive being probably $20. >} Boo yah. And they were BEAUTIFUL, thank you very much. I know you made a face at the screen. Shame on you.

So say you got a a tasty dress for cheap, either beause you know where to go, or better yet, you have a good seamstress in the family who loves you enough not to charge you…much. Then there’s actually finding the stupid things and going. And, well, someone has to throw them and provide the cool location and food and what not, so there’s more money. And why are they throwing it? They can’t just be throwing it for the kicks, because someone spending money so you can dress up and have fun is not going to happen unless you are the fruit of their loins. Thus, community formal parties are often entrance only by invitation or by buying a ticket, which can range…well, anywhere.

So far, if you’re poor and not a thrift store fairy like me, you’re already throwing up your hands in the air–because dang nabbit, you got to put food on the table.

Aside from the money, the time to go isn’t so much of an issue, unless you live in a small butthole of a town. Small towns are the anti-climax of the universe. Everyone knows each other, so why have a party? We all have to get up early to milk the cows anyways. And then driving to the nearest city for said party is another expense, and it usually takes HOURS to just get there and back, making a party a whole day affair, which means good-bye extra work day and having to figure out who to can survive your savage toddler for the time you’re gone.

Thus, our posh parties? They remain with the upper class, who we will dream about like the peasants of old did when they wrote fairytales, and the youth, because their hormone crazed need to romance the opposite sex needs an outlet or there’s going to be debauchery round the bonfire.

Still, whenever I watch the newer Pride and Prejudice and see the narrow ballroom filled with people in cotton empire dresses, dancing and sweaty to a lone violin on the banister, I can’t help but think “Oh, but that would be so easy. Why isn’t there more of that? Would society be all the more healthy and wonderful if we just had more balls?”

Cotton empire dresses aren’t that expensive, especially to make yourself. You can usually find large rooms to rent at community buildings, schools, and Churches. Then, since we live in the modern age, we don’t necessarily need live music.

…Course, then there’s the problem of whether or not to make it a community thing, and you don’t want to do that. Because there will always be SOMEONE who starts tweaking or twearking or whatever it’s called and embarass everyone–or invite others to start an orgy on the floor. Pardon my bluntness. That sort of dancing just irritates me. I guess that’s one reason why I’ve never gone to a night club. I’d prefer something far more sophisticated, like a jazz club or a Victorian ballroom where girls whisper about Mr. Darcy beneath the stairs….

One day, though. One day we’ll make it to that posh party beneath the stars. Just don’t think they’re all dead and gone. All it takes is for someone to have the motivation and desire to set one up. And if it happens to be in Utah, message me. I’d love to come.

And you can depend on me to look fabulous, not dirty dance, or ditch out.

Wait…does anyone actually know and dances that could be used at a posh party? Like those nifty ballroom ones?

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