Ah, son of star I see you, up there, blinking and wavering from the constant burn. What you wouldn't give to fall from heaven and dive into the ocean. But the ocean is vast and dark and cold, and so very unlike the family of stars. Burning, as they may, from the essence of their … Continue reading Son of Star
Sometimes I like to pretend my cat has feelings for me. Maybe it's because my cranium spouts mucous like the blowhole of a whale, and that, for some reason makes me yearn for feline affection. But colds aren't so bad. At least it isn't getting close and personal to the way God designed your innards … Continue reading Cats and Colds
My mom was just a little too...zealous about making sure she gave me the Talk. I mean, THE Talk: birds and bees, where babies come from, special hug, whatever you refer to it by. Maybe it had something to do with the fact that she had me in high school and was terrified that I'd … Continue reading Precious Puppies and The Talk
I'm tired. My mom has fungus under her nails. I had to figure out the weirdness that comes with visiting the house of someone you've signed off from your life because they have proven to be manipulative and abusive. I can't say anything about...I can't... Ugh. Fungus on the nails. That's all I can say … Continue reading Fungus and Fools
Pray that my grandma never reads this blog, because I'm pretty sure that there's only one person in the world who can make healthy desserts that still taste like desserts, and it's not her. I don't know how she did it, but she somehow took a pear crisp--you know, baked pears with an oatmeal, butter, … Continue reading Of Pears and Pyramid Schemes
My first book in a line of inexpensive, "Help Me Buy Milk" young adult Kindle books is now out for $1.99! If you got a mo, drop in and get a copy and help me buys some milk! Or if you just want a short little fun read about a girl trying to mother her … Continue reading “Wendy” Now Out!