Sometimes I like to pretend my cat has feelings for me. Maybe it's because my cranium spouts mucous like the blowhole of a whale, and that, for some reason makes me yearn for feline affection. But colds aren't so bad. At least it isn't getting close and personal to the way God designed your innards … Continue reading Cats and Colds
I am a horrible person. A 600 pound woman, with flesh hanging like veils past her limbs, gave birth to a 40 pound baby not too long ago. And all I could wonder was how it had gotten there in the first place. ...You're probably a horrible person too.
My mom was just a little too...zealous about making sure she gave me the Talk. I mean, THE Talk: birds and bees, where babies come from, special hug, whatever you refer to it by. Maybe it had something to do with the fact that she had me in high school and was terrified that I'd … Continue reading Precious Puppies and The Talk